Ode to Influenza
September 4th 2008 10:23
Dearest Influenza
unfortunately I am writing to you today to formally put an end to the enduring relationship we have established over the last few days. I understand this may come as a surprise to you, given that until now I have revealed little of the inner turmoil which has been brewing inside regarding certain aspects of your behaviour.
The first few days of your stay were great fun. I took a few days off work so that we could spend some quality time together and this proved invaluable in cementing our bond. We discovered a common love of eighties movies, often watching the same one three times in a row. I certainly could not have found this depth of understanding in anyone else. We played computer games, read books and surfed the net in the calm harmony which is found only in the most compatible of relationships.
But then, over the last couple of days, it took a nasty twist. You messed with my appetite, and nothing destroys a relationship faster than an enforced diet. No longer was I able to indulge in the last few days of winter, celebrating with a few thick, hearty stews and braised lamb shanks. No more fruit compote with greek yoghourt and I kissed goodbye to the ricotta, whisky and chocolate cake sitting in the fridge.
At first, I tried to take it in my stride. But there is only so much a reasonable person can endure. I am moving on and there is no room for negotiation. I have met someone new, Antiobiotic, and he is moving in tonight.
I wish you well. Don't keep in touch.
Pippa
unfortunately I am writing to you today to formally put an end to the enduring relationship we have established over the last few days. I understand this may come as a surprise to you, given that until now I have revealed little of the inner turmoil which has been brewing inside regarding certain aspects of your behaviour.
The first few days of your stay were great fun. I took a few days off work so that we could spend some quality time together and this proved invaluable in cementing our bond. We discovered a common love of eighties movies, often watching the same one three times in a row. I certainly could not have found this depth of understanding in anyone else. We played computer games, read books and surfed the net in the calm harmony which is found only in the most compatible of relationships.
But then, over the last couple of days, it took a nasty twist. You messed with my appetite, and nothing destroys a relationship faster than an enforced diet. No longer was I able to indulge in the last few days of winter, celebrating with a few thick, hearty stews and braised lamb shanks. No more fruit compote with greek yoghourt and I kissed goodbye to the ricotta, whisky and chocolate cake sitting in the fridge.
At first, I tried to take it in my stride. But there is only so much a reasonable person can endure. I am moving on and there is no room for negotiation. I have met someone new, Antiobiotic, and he is moving in tonight.
I wish you well. Don't keep in touch.
Pippa
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